There you sit. You there, over in that corner.
I see your shoulders bent low, head turned down.
They said it again, didn’t they?
You are not enough.
Not beautiful enough. Not smart enough. Not responsible enough. Not eloquent enough. Not talented enough.
Never enough.
They say you don’t fit. You’re not what they were looking for.
“I’m sorry, but… you’re just not enough.”
Your eyes brim and threaten to spill. You blink. And blink again.
You feel a fire building in your breast. Your palms are moist. Your mouth dry.
How dare they?
But then, you hear the whisper. It is dark and sinister.
They wouldn’t say it if it weren’t true.
You failed. You should have been able to please. You should have done more. You should have been more.
Not good enough. Not enough. Still… ever… always… not enough.
You crumbled, didn’t you? Fell to the floor in exhaustion.
You’ve done nothing but try to please them. Done nothing but try to be what they expected. You worked and you labored and you planned and you executed.
But still…
***
Will you let me whisper something into your ear?
Might I breathe a word of question?
Who are they? Who are they?
Who gave them the power to say these things? With what authority do they speak?
Allow me to tell you something that is true.
You were made beautiful. Beautiful enough.
You were created with care and given a mind that fits your heart, perfectly.
You were designed by One who delights in personality and unique creativity.
You were fashioned by one who took joy in making you, you.
And then? When He was finished? He held you close and declared that
you were perfect
you were loved
you were enough.
***
Do you believe me?
Lift your eyes and turn your head. Glance this way.
You must take this truth and cling to it. You must cloak your weary shoulders with it and sip the soul wine it brings.
You are enough. He only makes that which is beautiful and complete.
You are enough.
And He loves you. Just as you are.
***
What is that you say? Speak those words again?
Oh…
I’m speaking to a mirror?
Poetic!
Why do we believe when they say negative things, but when they say positive things, that’s when we decide “they” are wrong?
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Wow. How true. How sad that we can’t see ourselves the way Jesus sees us, and how wonderful and beautiful and true it is that He loves us so! Seems like quite a few women I know who are in their mid-twenties struggle with this. Kinda like a mid-twenties crisis! Myself definitely included. Helps to know that there are others out there on this same journey and that others go through the same things. Thank you for pointing us to who we are in Christ. I love MercyMe’s song, “Beautiful”. Speaks truth to my heart. :o)
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You speak to me. I’ve been there.
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I needed this to day. I really, really did. <3
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Wow! So powerful & so true. Thanks for sharing. :)
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Beautifully written… powerful words.
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What Chantel said. I needed this today. Thank you lots, dear Ashleigh!
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You have no idea how much I identify with this. Though much of my depressed thoughts may come from pregnancy and post-partum hormones this past year, it’s still a very real struggle for me.
……I think I must be worthless. I can’t measure up to what my husband needs and expects of me. My friends and onlookers must think I’m worthless because all I do is chase toddlers and wash laundry, day in and day out. I must be stupid because I never went to college, but everyone else I know did. Worse yet, I must actually be mentally ill because I can’t get these feelings of worthlessness out of my head!……
It’s so hard to listen to God, the still, small voice, when there are real audible voices of earthly people telling you the opposite. No matter what “they” say, I must remember that what I’m doing today is what I know God wants me to do and be, therefore I can find worth in it.
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Mother Goose Reply:
January 20th, 2011 at 7:22 am
You have the single most important job on the face of this earth. Raising God’s children while believing in yourself. We are children of God and so we are in His likeness and image. We also human and make mistakes but the mistakes are what gives us the experience for later in life. Without those mistakes where would we be – think about it – the only other job besides your family that is really important is helping God help you.
Jer 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
God Bless!
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What a great reminder. I also have to tell myself apart from Him I could never be enough anyway. Only with Him in me am I enough!
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You are a poet. One who has me counting weeks for a Marine and his bride.
And your words are true – why is it we can say these things so readily to help others – and yet be silent as we drown in our own puddles of alone.
My favorite line?
“Who are they?
Who gave them the power to say these things?”
Thank you for this today Ashleigh, and God Bless and Keep you and yours.
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Thank you. I needed this today. The weight and pressure are heavy this afternoon, but then I read this and
it’s
freeing
to know that I am enough and loved.
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beautiful ash.
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You speak to me too. Thank you. Good affirmation and reminder for focus.
Love these lines.
You were created with care and given a mind that fits your heart, perfectly.
You were designed by One who delights in personality and unique creativity.
You were fashioned by one who took joy in making you, you.
You are enough. He only makes that which is beautiful and complete.
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I needed this more after I read it than when I read it. ‘Twas, then, a good thing to remember. Thank you, friend.
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I am so encouraged to know that the One who made me, who sees His image in me, yet also sees the sin and corruption in me, died to make me pure in His sight, and I have the privilege of calling Him Father.
To be secure in Him, such an unspeakable gift…
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at which point I hold my face and sob…love you
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This just gave me goosebumps! Thank you for sharing it.
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Brilliant, Ashleigh. I love these soul soothing words, and I love you!
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“You were created with care and given a mind that fits your heart, perfectly.”
I needed to read that line today. Thank you for sharing!
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Thank you!!! I needed this right now. Evidently God knew I needed it a lot this week because it reiterates some things said in Lysa Terkhurst’s Made to Crave Webinar. Thank you!!!!
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Wow what words of encouragement, thank you for this I need to read this as a daily reminder xx
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Thank you for being so faithful and speaking God’s truth from your heart. I am weeping but Joy cometh in the morning :-) I am encouraged.
May the Lord bless you, Ashleigh…
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Ashleigh… you have such a ministry of grace here. Thank you, thank you, thank you for these words. This post and others. They were needed.
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This hurts to read. Hurts because it describes me perfectly. Perfectly. My husband texted this to me today: “Did you know you’re my queen, the gold God gave me?” My answer was “sometimes”.
Last year my dad, my very own dad who is a minister, told me that I am a Huge Disappointment. (I was 48 when he said that.) Hurts.
You have a gift with words, Ashleigh. Thank you for sharing.
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So beautiful. I have felt like not enough after my husband asked for a divorce..but God keeps telling me I am. Thank you for being His mouthpiece.
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That was great!
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Amen, sister. A-MEN!
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30 minutes ago I was hunched in my bathroom crying. I’m tired of falling short. I am sorry for what I didn’t do. I cannot fight my quiet heart that gets misunderstood as snobby, insensitive and stupid. It’s not true. I laid down in my closet for a short rest. I didn’t even want to drag myself to the bed. A dark carpeted closet and just cried. My head is pounding, my hands are shaking, and my eyes can’t even see straight. It’s exhausting. Then I decided to grab a cup of apple juice and read your blog.
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Ashley, For someone so young you are so gifted. I am not young anymore and today I needed to hear this…thank you so much. God bless you and your sweet family. God uses you to bless others.
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I fear my words here will fall short… that they won’t measure up to the beauty of yours, to the sheer poignant poetry you have created. But, then, isn’t that exactly what I hear you whisper? That’s just me, feeling “not enough” again. So I will simply say… thank you. This is something I need to reflect on when I face the upturned noses and rolling eyes… and, even more, when I cast dismissive glances in the mirror. And now I wipe my eyes…
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Thank you for this. I have heard this criticism so often from people who say that they love me, and are supposed to be there to supportme and not tear me down. This is exactly what I needed.
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“Lift your eyes and turn your head. Glance this way.
You must take this truth and cling to it. You must cloak your weary shoulders with it and sip the soul wine it brings.”
beautiful words from a beautiful lady. this is a gr8 reminder friend! :)
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You know how i have been grappling with this concept for months now. And it’s my “word” for 2011. And this is the song to go with it. Thanks, heart-friend.
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I’ve been wrestling with your poem. It is beautiful and clearly it has been encouraging to many people. The problem you present is so real. But your conclusion isn’t true. It completely leaves out the gospel.
You see, I’m not enough. I’m not perfect. I’m not beautiful. My heart and mind often don’t agree with each other and certainly don’t fit perfectly. And that is why I need Jesus. The gospel doesn’t say that I am perfect and beautiful. It says that I am evil, broken and insufficient. While we were made beautiful and complete, sin came, the world fell, and it was broken. And that is why God sent Jesus.
He sent Jesus because he loves his children and wants them to be perfect and beautiful. And that gospel says that my imperfection, my insufficiency, my ugliness and confusion is cloaked in Jesus. Cloaked in his perfection, his glory, his beauty. God our gracious Father looks at me cloaked in Jesus, smiles and says “yes. enough. beautiful. perfect. mine.”
I don’t have to be enough, because Jesus is. And then the beautiful thing is that the gospel doesn’t stop there. I’m not just cloaked in Jesus, but he has given me his Spirit and is making me more like him. He is changing my ashes into beauty. He is taking my evil thoughts and making them pure and clean. He is taking my insufficiency and making beautiful things. That is the gospel. And it is so much more beautiful than I can even begin to describe or imagine. This gospel doesn’t center around me trying desperately to believe that I am enough. It stands on the promise that Jesus is enough.
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Nish Reply:
January 21st, 2011 at 8:00 pm
I would actually argue that this is a beautiful picture of the Gospel. Ashleigh very eloquently stated
“You are enough. He only makes that which is beautiful and complete.
You are enough.
And He loves you. Just as you are.”
The conclusion that you suggest isn’t true… is actually Truth. That we, in our present state of unrighteousness and mess and fear and self-loathing… we are enough. We need nothing but to come to Him, all of us who are weary and burdened. We don’t need to have it all together and believe the lies that culture heaves on our shoulders. We, people, human, the pinnacle of the long crescendo in the symphony of creation, are enough. All we need is Jesus, yes. But must we make sure we’re “enough” by the world’s standards to come to Him? No. We come as we are and he makes us perfect in the eyes of the Father.
Ash, what a stunning picture you painted here. A reminder that I am enough. That the evil one who whispers dark to make loud my insecurities… is a liar. We are loved. Valued. Rescued. Created Beauty.
xo
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Ohhh this is so beautiful! I loved the imagery…I have been here before. And I am continuing everyday to turn my ear away from those voices that tell me I am not enough.
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Love God and his whack-a-doo timing, Ashleigh… :) On the 17th, I spent the day being “not enough” (I’d been informed that I’m “not enough” on the 16th)…I didn’t read your post until today, but I appreciate it all the same. With Him, I am enough. And when I’m not? He IS.
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Why is it that just reading such words cause my eyes to well up?
I pray that all of our fragile hearts would find healing and His assurance.
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love your grace
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You have no idea how much I wish I read this when you wrote it. That same week I had my first lesson at the college I was hoping to go to in the Fall. My teacher, a professor of the school, told me that I wasn’t good enough to even audition for the school. I’ve been dreaming of going to a music school for a while. I played violin from 4th grade until I graduated high school in 2007.
Thank you for writing this!
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