I bought this card a few years ago.
It was us. The dark haired girl, the light haired boy.
Gazing up at a starry, fairy dust sky.
Just weeks later, we found out that light-haired guy of mine was headed to Iraq.
I tucked the card away, deep in a maple drawer.
I couldn’t give him a card that spoke of something that wasn’t reality.
I found the little piece of folded card stock again when we moved to Colorado.
With only a few weeks before we embarked on the second long separation, it seemed ridiculous to even keep the card.
Never being apart only served to underline the fact that, as long as we’re in the military, we’ll always have another separation on the horizon.
But one day, not long after he boarded that bus bound for the sandy spot across the globe, I pulled that card out of the wooden drawer.
And I sent it.
Because, this second time around, I realized something.
Distance is physical.
But hearts are not.
And they don’t always get the message that the bodies they inhabit are separated by oceans and continents.
Today I hung up the phone after an international phone call from Afghanistan.
And with a slow sigh, I knew my heart didn’t know that Marine of mine was across the globe.
He’s still the brightest spot in my day.
He’s still the one who makes me smile.
He can still take a hard day and make it sparkle.
He’s still the person I want to spend all my time with,
be it while drying dishes side by side,
walking around a little island in Southern California,
looking at each other via television screen,
or simply talking across phone lines.
Our hearts are never apart.
Ever.
Such a sweet card, and beautiful post.
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Ashley, you don’t know me, but I have commented a few times on here, and I have read your blog regularly for a few years. The love that you and John share has always been such an encouragement to me. Now that I am married, I pray I will have a marriage like yours. I know your marriage isn’t perfect, because no ones is, but thank you for being honest and open about what it means to truly love your husband.
I have been thinking about and praying for you all day. My husband’s best friend just returned from Iraq, and as much as I’m around him and his wife, I am always thinking of you, with your man still gone. You and your boys are in my constant prayers! Will and I lived hundreds of miles apart for our entire relationship before we married, so although I can’t relate on the level you are going through, I know a tiny taste of how hard it is to be apart. And my heart aches when I think about you being without John. So I am praying that the Lord will be your best friend when John isn’t there, and that you and John will only grow closer through all of this!! You are right… hearts are never, ever apart–especially when they are joined by the Lord!
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Well now Miss Ashleigh, lets look at how connected you are to your man. They can put miles between you but he is always in your heart.
Thank you and your man for what you endure for my country.
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Awww….I sent this card to my love when he was in Iraq in 2006. What are the odds? :) Thank you for the beautiful memory. I will have to go find it today!
Thank you both for your sacrifice and your service.
Saying a prayer that you won’t have to be apart much longer….
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You describe what my heart feels perfectly.
You are beautiful!
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So beautiful Ashleigh – you are more connected to your far away husband than many are to the one they have right here. Praying this closeness becomes physical for you two soon :)
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I have either bought this card for my DH or he has given it to me (I can’t remember) and it is beautiful.
Your hearts are NEVER far apart, even if the miles between you two seems like too much to bear.
Praying that this deployment will be a season of blessing for your marriage, as you bind your hearts together all the more….
Jen in Canada
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How very very true….beautiful post.
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The cord of three is so strong, no matter the physical distance.
Loved this, Bun.T
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I love this sooooo much, so so very much. It’s so true and I’m so glad you sent the card. :) Being a military wife is HARD but there are also these kinds of blessings that other couples don’t have. :)
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Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…
You know me and mushy cards and love letters.
And it just goes to show that there is really no distance between two hearts that love each other.
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beautiful post. beautiful sentiment. as a marine wife i know exactly what you mean
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Beautiful!
I feel the same way about my marriage. Our physical bodies can be separated (he just returned from Iraq) but our hearts will NEVER be. God has joined us and we do everything we can to glorify Him and his plans for us!
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So sweet. I just saw your Tweet about this. I love hearing you talk about your husband. Gives me hope I might find something as beautiful. I don’t know if I’ve said that in comments before but I’ve meant to. :)
I do know what it’s like to be separated by physical distance but not heart distance. Sometimes, I think it made me love him more because I appreciated things about him I hadn’t paid attention to before he left. Which in turns make me miss him more now. But you get my point. :)
Thanks for sharing.
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Hi Ashleigh!
I found you through (in)courage and thought I’d stop by to say hi! (I think I might have seen you over at Alece’s place too..?) Anyway, good to meet you!
And I love what Elaina said up there, “Gives me hope I might find something as beautiful.” I agree. I hope I find something like that some day.
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Awww, this brought tears to my eyes. It’s the kind of love that lasts forever… the kind of love that loves even more because of the distance, the kind of love that nothing and no-one can stop.
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This was so sweet! Lots of prayers and cyber hugs for you. Have I ever said thank-you for being a wife who sacrifices the physical distance for a part in our freedom? Thank you. {hugs}
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So heart melting.
Ginger~
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Sigh… I have happy smiles on my face for you :)
It’s so interesting… you can be local and distant, or across an ocean and right next to each other.
” Distance is physical. But hearts are not. ”
So true -love this
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I love this. Thank you for posting this!!
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Lovely and deep…beautiful
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Thank you for such a sweet post.We are so thankful for what your Marine is doing for us…..and appreciate what you and your little boys are doing for us too.Thank you so much.
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I really feel convicted by this post. My husband and I had a really hard time staying intimate while he was deployed, and it was a 7-monther instead of your year-long ones. I don’t know what we did wrong, but I do know that I got irritated instead of excited if he called when I was busy, and he didn’t always call when he had the chance… We were quite civil when we did talk, but it was all fluffy stuff, nothing really revealing. It just seemed easier to stay distant over the distance, but it was a hard reunion (for several reasons, but that was a big one).
Do you have any posts about how you and John stay close when you’re half a world away? Have there been times when you weren’t so close? How do you deal with conflict?
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Ashleigh Reply:
August 15th, 2010 at 11:03 pm
Ayla, I’ve been thinking about this all week.
I think everyone handles deployment differently… but I think it’s natural to want to create emotional distance when we’re apart. It’s a defense mechanism to protect our emotions.
There are definitely times when we can’t talk much for a week or two because I’m always crazy busy when he calls, or we just don’t connect at the right time. I think one of the best things for us is when he calls and I just kinda go about my day during the convo–he gets to hear what’s going on here and I just say whatever pops into my head. We also love Skype… but a lot of people aren’t able to use it much because their guy isn’t able to get to a computer very often. We definitely have an advantage with that.
I think, just like love across the board, it really is a choice. A choice to talk when it isn’t convenient, to write notes, to send emails, to talk about more than the surface stuff. It definitely is work, but it pays off in the end. Always.
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ayla Reply:
August 16th, 2010 at 12:58 pm
Thanks Ashleigh.
I think it was a defense mechanism for us; Matt didn’t think so much of home, and I tried to forget what home was like before he was gone.
But it just feels wrong to be so distant. I’m definitely going to work harder during our upcoming work ups (only a month long!) in preparation for the deployment next year.
Thanks for writing back!
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*praying* for you and John, and Merritt and Troy. Thank you!
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