They are my boys, these two.
Both born of my womb, both bearing the features of the same daddy.
They carry the same blood, similar traits, and they mimic each other’s mannerisms.
But they are different, these two.
One says hello and promptly launches into his four-year-old life story, asking 657 questions about yours.
The other looks at the ground and might allow a breathy hi to escape his lips.
One bounces from wall to wall. The other is content to sit and look through a picture book.
One drinks milk like it’s water. The other never takes more than a couple sips of the white stuff.
One asks for eggs every morning. The other wants toast or cereal.
One loves kisses. The other loves hugs.
One needs to sleep with someone else near him. The other needs wiggle room.
One has a temper. The other is simply stubborn.
One keeps his feelings locked. The other displays them at every opportunity.
One is loud, bright, and colorful. The other is quiet, subdued, filled with gentle brilliance.
They are different, these two.
As their parents, we relish the varying degrees of personality and temperament. We watch carefully, noting each child’s likes and dislikes, loves and hates.
And we cater our parenting accordingly.
No, we don’t grade on a curve or change directions with the wind.
We expect the same basic principles to be upheld by both children, regardless of individual preferences: obedience and respect are non-negotiables.
But within that range, there are some variables.
One child may need more work when it comes to patience. The other may need to temper his words.
One may not be able to play with train tracks for a while because the designing of the track brings out his frustration. The other may need the train tracks to learn coordination skills.
One may require more time working on speaking kindly and we may have to be more guarded with his influences. The other may hear a arguably questionable tone and never think to repeat it.
The principles remain the same, but the practical outworking is amended for each child.
So we work with each one, individually, knowing their hearts.
And we pour a generous helping of love over all of it. Because love covers all areas of teaching and discipline.
For us. And for them.
~*~
I’ve been thinking a bit, over the past several weeks, about God’s parenting.
(Because I’ve needed a bit of help with my own. Doing this thing alone isn’t an easy task.)
I’m overwhelmed by his gentleness toward me.
How thankful that he upholds his principles, but caters, to me, the practical application of those principles.
He may know that I can’t handle a set of train tracks in my life right now, because they bring out my frustrations and impatience.
Or he may give me a little engine and a caboose, so I learn to maneuver correctly.
He may ask me to steer clear of certain influences because of my particular emotional, physical or spiritual state.
Or he may turn me toward a different direction.
And he always, always heaps more love over me. And he always, always shows me, beautifully, how to extend that love.
He teaches me to realize that he sometimes gives one child a few train tracks, and sometimes he may ask them to keep the bridges and freight cars tucked away in the blue, train-shaped suitcase for a while.
As his children, he give us his principles, expecting the same from each of us, and then gently caters them to each of his beloved ones.
And he covers it all with love. Enough to pour out on those around us.
Because love encompasses all.
and someday they will both know how lucky they are, you are their mother.
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Love this – can I link it on Fb?
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I *like* this! Those 2 little boys are blessed to have you and John for parents! =)
I find it fascinating to just look at my 4 brothers and analyze all of their similarities and differences and know that the Lord created them, each one unique.
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Incredibly well said and well written! Appreciate this perspective so much! Even though I don’t have kids {yet}, I really love this and the way you brought it around to God’s love and care for us. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing your heart in this!
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Loved this. Loved the spiritual application. Love my sweet boys…and love their mama’s heart. : )
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Loved this! And the spiritual analogy too. I never thought about things quite that way before but maybe its because I’m not a mother yet… :)
I love how unique we all are. Even brothers are unique in their own ways. God amazes me!
Your boys are beyond cute!
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Yes. Yes. And yes again.
Having all four kids at home this summer, I’m being hit in the head daily with the differences in my children. I’m struggling to raise them up “in the way THEY should go” without making things seem unfair.
Still, I’m grateful God treats me this way. I am His unique creation. It makes sense He would deal with us all individually. (Which is why it’s crazy to compare ourselves with others. But that’s another post….)
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What a great reminder. Both for training my kids and relating to God. Thank you!
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Great post :)<3 praying for you
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Beautiful. :)
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When I finally got a chance to sit down and read it start to finish, it brought tears to my eyes.
Beautiful analogies, my friend. And just what I needed to hear at this stage of parenting my two very different little girls.
Thank you!
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What sweet post!!! i love those little boys;)
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Aw Ash… its like both your personality traits in your little ones. mer, the quiet and gentle, and troy, the outgoing and boisterous =)
been thinking about you lately. miss you.
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Hey Ash,wow I loved this,it’s nice to get back to the bloggie world,drop by and see me,i’m just gettin started again
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Yes, everything goes down with large helpings of love. This is my kind of parenting. Deliciously unique and consistent and the same time.
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LOVED THIS!
Ginger~
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Reads like a psalm and oh, the gospel here. me, too, luv.
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so thankful that God parents and guides each of us individually and knows us intimately enough to do that… sigh :)
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THe boys are getting so big! We miss you all so very much!!
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Oh my goodness! Thank you for sharing this post- it spoke directly to my heart today. I have two boys and they sound just like yours. The older one is outgoing and the younger one is quiet and parenting them is so different…
I love how being a parent makes you think of things in a new light and lets you see another side of the Lord :) He does parent us individually. And I’m grateful.
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Ashleigh, this is a beautiful post full of truth and grace. I particularly liked this line: “love covers all areas of teaching and discipline.” I agree wholeheartedly.
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