Yes, we are alive. And yes, I’ve been too busy enjoying our family of four being TOGETHER to give more than a passing thought to blogging.

Today I finished putting together a little video chronicling this journey we’ve been on. I made it for myself, really… therapeutic and all that. I wanted to go back to the beginning and see where we started and then be able to see where we’re at now. Because it seems that no matter how many times I replay it all in my mind, having John home now is normal and that whole Iraq thing? Just a bad dream.

But then, there are other moments…

Anyone who has ever gone through a time in their lives that’s been difficult or life-altering in any way knows that feeling–when you struggle to piece where you were before all of this began, where you were in the thick of it, and where you are now that it’s coming to a close. How does all of this relate and… now what?

Yesterday evening I was finishing up the dinner dishes, John was building block towers with the boys. It felt so completely normal that my mind had tricked me into thinking this is the way it’s been all along.

It was just a random song that came on the stereo, but one I hadn’t been familiar with until John sent me a DVD of one of their chapel services. Throughout the past few months, I’ve played the music portion of that DVD over and over and over–listening to John playing a guitar and leading the singing for a bunch of Christian Marines and Army personnel who still choose to gather together in Iraq.

When the first few notes of the song began to come through the stereo speakers last night, my mind reversed its little trick on me. For about five seconds, as I stood there putting clean plates and bowls away, I was alone again. John singing along to the music was just a DVD and the boys were playing alone. I immediately started thinking about getting the boys bathed and ready for bed by myself and then later climbing into our big empty bed on my own.

It took a moment to breathe again. I stood for the duration of the song with my hands resting on the bowls I was shelving, frozen as the past year played before my eyes. The worries and fears of the months leading up to the day John left, the feeling of saying goodbye, the achingly long days and nights without him, the constant struggle to trust the Lord with John’s safety as well as our own back here, the incredible closeness both of us found in Jesus in the midst of war’s separation, and then Homecoming Day and the sheer bliss of seeing my beloved’s face again and being in his arms.

As the song came to a close, I opened my tear-filled eyes. It’s over. John IS here. Right here, in our home. We four are together now. His singing was coming from the living room, not through television speakers. God did it. Proved Himself faithful in more ways than we could have foreseen or imagined. As any military wife can tell you, this is actually just one step on a much longer journey–one filled with more separation and some difficult times. But we’ve made it through this one. What reason do we have to doubt He’ll bring us through the next any less lovingly?

Some of this video may not make sense. Since I made it for myself mostly, a few of the pictures will have more meaning to us than they will to you. But I’m showing you this glimpse into our journey because you have all been a part of it. You’ve loved us and prayed for us from the beginning–something for which there are not enough words to thank you.

So here’s a little glimpse into our journey–start to, well, finished-for-now.



Journey from Ashleigh on Vimeo.

It’s been a little over a week now since John came home. He worked a couple days last week and yesterday began his 30-day leave period. I know it’s no surprise to you all that I’ll be taking an extended bloggity break throughout most of that. I’m not sure exactly when I’ll be back to normal around here–I have to figure out what “normal” is going to be, now that I won’t have hours upon hours of “after the kids are in bed” to devote to blogging. I might pop in a few times, leave some comments here and there. But my online time will be sporadic at best.

Besides, I’m just way too busy taking two-hour walks on the beach hand in hand with my guy, reading books to our little boys while they climb all over us, eating real meals (I forgot it’s possible for people to actually eat home cooked meals every night of the week), snuggling–all four of us–in the mornings, doing incredibly mature things like chasing each other around the house shooting rubber bands around corners and up the stairs.

Yep. Life is good.

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