I stop in my tracks as I hear it. Turning, I see the scene unfold.
“Bubbie! No, NO! You don’t TOUCH that, MerMer!”
Cringing, I wonder for an instant where on earth my two-year-old caught that. That little brow furrowed in frustration, the pursed lips. This wasn’t just a normal little brotherly disagreement.
I sigh. I know exactly where he learned it. He’s seen a similar expression, heard a similar tone used in reference to himself. Just this morning.
My heart is heavy as I address this incident with Troy. I’d been told before I had children that one of the hardest moments as a parent was when you realize that your own sinful actions are manifesting themselves in your children. Those people were right.
I’m not typically “a yeller” with my children. I get frustrated often enough, and have, during a few at-my-wit’s-end moments, shut myself in my room and let out some sort of cross between a “grr” and a mama lion’s roar. This morning, though, I was overwhelmed by all the whining, crying, fussing, hitting, clinging, disobeying, wanting, climbing, pulling and needing. I gritted my teeth and spoke sharply, harshly. I was a monster-mommy for a little while.
And now here my son was yelling at his brother.
A reminder. A sobering reminder to me.
I’ve heard it said that what you allow in moderation, your children will allow in excess.
What they see me doing, they’ll examine, contemplate, and then do, often in ways we didn’t foresee.
Merritt watched me run my fingers through the grass during a recent afternoon picnic. I wasn’t pulling it from the ground. I certainly wasn’t eating it.
But soon he was doing both. He didn’t know, as I did, how awful the grass would taste once it was in his mouth.
Neither does Troy understand the sting of his harsh words. What they can become.
But I do.
Lord, You’ve given these little men eyes to watch me live out “You” before them. You promise to give grace. Let my speech… my actions… the expression on my face… the way I care for them… let it be seasoned with grace. Let it speak of You.
They are watching more than we even realize…
Sigh! This is soooooooo true! I find my youngest – 9 years old – acting just like me sometimes and it scares me. Lord, help!
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thanks! this applies for a ‘big sister’ too…our actions will reap consequences: for good or bad. Thank you for sharing this.
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We’ve all been there. Especially when they’re having a whine-fest.
Making mistakes in front of your kids gives you the opportunity to apologize to them, and that is DEFINITELY something that they need to do in excess!
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sooo true, ashleigh! so true.
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Kids are the greatest Nanni-cams. The Lord has rebuked me through my own more than once.
~Kristi
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We can’t do this without Him, can we? I was uttering amen with you at the end of your sweet prayer… More of You, less of me.
Blessing,
Carrie
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::hug::
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Amen, amen , amen
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What a lovely prayer.
I’m definitely not looking forward to seeing my icky habits manifest themselves in Hazel… but it’s so good to know that His grace is big enough for all of us.
As long as your little men see your true heart in these situations – all will be okay. They may pick up our less desirable habits, but hopefully they will also pick up our dependence on the Lord.
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This brought me to tears, because I’ve been at-my-wit’s-end one too many time over the last 3 weeks, and I spoke harshly MORE than once. I hated myself for it! We’ve all reached our breaking point at one time or another. Thanks for posting- This is my prayer too. Beautiful post.
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Nice moment of reflection. Good reminder.
Vickie
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Kids are like sponges they hear and see everything. I remember repeating some things my mom or dad said and getting in-trouble. At least you realize you do it and then you go from there. I know what an amazing mother you are and you will get through this season as well. Mer Mer is sooo cute. I havent seen him in so long he doesnt even look the same.
xoxox
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I am not a mommy yet I pray one day I will be. But tonight like many others I am tired of a long days of work getting over a fever and just want to blog surf a little before I do my many other things before I can think about bed.
I stumble over to one of my absoulute fave bloggers and read a post that I didn’t think at first would have any affect on me than probably reading and laughing at your latest fun post. But then it happened my heart strings started to stretch and I realized I needed this very much.
You see on a normal day to day I work at a Christian school but this summer I ventured to something new I am away from home for the summer and I am working at a daycare.
Not a Christian one and my oh my is that a new awakening for me. So many days I want to cry from the constant hitting and biting.
One of these days when I just want to throw in the towel kinda like today…lol…I will think of this post.
Ginger~
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Yep. I remember first having that startling realization. What’s right? What’s wrong? They don’t know the difference – they can only imitate what they see.
Humbling.
Convicting!
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This is so true. My daughter heard stupid on the aristocats and then she called me a stupid mommy!! I am trying to tell her it is not a nice word to call people but there is not much reasoning with a 2 year old.
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