Tonight Hannah Beth was looking through my photo albums and pulled out the big thick “four year book” my mom made me when I graduated high school. Since I was homeschooled, she made me a gigantic scrapbook encompassing all four years in one.

In other words, it’s a scrapbook full of pictures of me in various stages of weird and embarrassing attire. Oh, and many different lengths and styles of strange hair.

But that’s what a yearbook is for, right?

The first few pages contain The List I made the summer before ninth grade. My parents had me write out everything I hoped to accomplish during my high school years. What were my goals? Ideas? My mom told me to jot down anything and everything–no matter how “out there.”

So I did.

And I took the “no matter how out there” part quite literally.

So tonight we decided to take inventory of how I did. What I accomplished, and what I, uh, didn’t.

For your reading pleasure, I now bring you The List, exactly as it appears in the book. Under the fancy scrolling letters of L.I.S.T. and a friend’s email address, of course.

• Flower arranging–wreaths, etc. Um, nope.
• Cake decorating A little… but it fizzled out once my family told me that baking a couple cakes a week was getting to be a bit much.
• Sewing–things such as skirts, shirts (blouses with buttons down the front, etc.), apron, real dresses, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc. And LOTS of other stuff. How’s that for fashion sense? This is precisely why we went shopping this weekend.
• Basket weaving Tried at a women’s retreat once. Didn’t have enough hands or arms on me.
• Canning!!! Hey, I did do this one. Strawberry jam, peaches, pickles, apple pie filling.
• Gardening (vegetable gardening) I think we already covered this one, ahem.
• Herb gardening and learning how to use them to make medicines, in cooking, etc. I was convinced I could become a botanist. I’m not.
• Making Soap-LYE soap. Ha. Yeah. Can’t you just see me over a pot, stirring lye for soap.
• Regular cooking, Wednesday nights Did do this one, too. I think my husband now appreciates it.
• Learning how to grow things (plants, citrus trees :) etc.) from their own seeds. (Drying the seeds, etc.) Other than the fact that I don’t grow things that are already living, let alone from their own seeds, what’s the deal with the citrus trees? I grew up in the desert. “Hey, look at my lemon tree in the back yard!”
• Typing (not exactly a homemaking skill, but something I’d like to do). Well, does this one need explaining? Clearly, I learned to type. And type fast. Just look at this post.
• Quilting!!! Thanks to my home ec course, I actually made a baby quilt. It was pink. I now have two boys.
• Make cheese (just once, to try, since we don’t have a cow) Hannah Beth says I should stick that there cow next to the lemon tree on my parents’ half acre desert lot.
• Singing course Does having a singer for a husband count?
• Hardanger (or however you spell it) Maybe a spelling course would have been more beneficial?
• Advanced cross stitching Can do that, believe it or not
• Needlepoint Good intentions and all that
• Make all sorts of interesting breads :) Cakes too :) Bread machines make good friends. So does the bread aisle at the grocery store.
• I know this will never happen, Daddy probably wouldn’t say yes, but as long as I’m writing down things I’d like to do, I might as well say it. I’d like to keep chickens. :) I could take care of them (although Zach would probably want to help) and all that stuff. I also think goats would be fun, but…….. :)

Okay. At this point, we are laughing so hard we feel we might wet our pants. Can’t you see it? In the desert DIRT, the chickens clucking away around the mooing cow, while the goats eat the lemon tree and I look on sweetly while arranging flowers in a basket I made, with the aroma of an “interesting cake” wafting through the air. I’d, of course, be adorned in a blouse with buttons down the front that I’d made myself.

Oh good heavens.

• Languages: (prepare yourself, here) Spanish; German; French; Greek; Hebrew; Russian; Hmar, of course, but I don’t think I could get a course for that. Number of foreign languages I speak? ZERO. Smart, ain’t I?
• Different types of science–I don’t know what they’re called, but I know I want to do them.
• Government
• Biology
• World History
• Wordsmith Craftsman

I actually DID do all of those school subjects. Think maybe my parents actually had some common sense where I, uh, lacked it?

• Resource skills or reference materials. Whatever they’re called? I want to be able to, when I want to know something, know the best way to find it. (HUH???) I want to know how to do research efficiently and do it so that it’s fun and so I’ll remember it. Ohhh, I was talking about GOOGLE!
• Learn how to do framing. Just pretty much for fun. I’ve always wanted to do that. What? Have fun, or frame??
• Checkbooks, grocery shopping, etc. etc. etc. {Learning how to manage finances} Well, um, considering that I’d overdrawn my checking account only a few months after I got it and my dad had to bail me out, it would seem this one caused me a few problems. AHEM.
• Learn to knit… socks, sweaters, etc. I can make a dishcloth. Fancy, eh?
• Make paper w/Zach, once. I’ve heard of people doing it. Just thought it would be fun. I’ve still only heard of people making paper. I wonder if it’s fun?
• Bible studying. Doing an IN-DEPTH study of a certain book(s) with Daddy? Sounds like fun. Done. Several times over.
• Scrapbooking. Um, no. I don’t scrapbook. I blog.

And that’s it.

Not ambitious or anything, right?

Gotta run–time to milk the cow and pick some lemons.