I’ve posted once in the past three and a half weeks.

So I’m sure it won’t come as a big surprise when I say that I think it’s time for me to take a minor, indefinite bloggie break. I don’t think I’ve ever even come back full force since our move in February, except for prayer updates on our family situations. And for this, I feel bad. With each time I stare at a blank Blogger posting screen trying to think up something new to say, each comment I don’t reply to, each post on Bloglines that I skim and don’t respond to… I feel more and more guilty. Because the Blogosphere is filled with real people, with real feelings, and is not “just” a cozy online community of people who know each other primarily through their keyboards–something I’ve been reminded of afresh. My sitemeter, which I looked at today for the first time in… a while, tells me that quite a few of you are still coming to this little corner to check in, only to be greeted with… nothing! :smile: Since I’m always very sad when a bloggie buddy drops off the face of the earth without any explanation, I think you all deserve something of the kind from me.

Honestly, I can’t really pinpoint one thing, or event, or situation that is “doing me in.” (And when I look at the things those nearest me are walking through, I feel bad even saying I’m having a hard time.) I have a wonderful husband, precious baby, dear family not far away, friends I treasure, and most of all, a God who promises grace for this present moment… I should be fine. But when I find myself taking out my frustration (at what? I’m not even exactly sure…) on those dearest to me, saying things I wish could be unsaid, brushing off others I love, and when even the thought of doing a load of laundry brings me to tears :smile:, something’s gotta give.

A dear sweet blogger with quite a bit of experience gave me a nugget of wisdom recently.

You know, one thing that I’ve learned about feeling “obligated” to post is
that caving into that feeling is rarely a good thing. I think that there are
parts of our lives that we’re supposed to move through without figuring out how
to edit them. Sometimes we just have to sit in whatever situation God puts us in
- and not write about it. You know?

Yep, I know. And this is one of those times. Because the truth is, I’m not depressed every day, nor do I sit around moping and thinking that my life is so terrible… not by any means. But when I write, the deepest parts of my heart are what bubble to the surface and want to be written, and a public blog isn’t the place for me to sort through all of that. I also don’t want all those reading this humble little place of mental ramblings to get a completely warped view of my life. Because it’s not that bad or even close to all bad–it’s just a wee bit overwhelming to me right now. And I need to be spending time getting filled up through God’s word, enjoying my family, and attempting to take a chunk out of the many things that need to happen in the near future, all while watching my oh-so-fast walking one year old!

So I don’t know when I’ll be back, but don’t worry–I’ll post if anything terribly exciting happens. :smile: I’ll at least return with some preggie pictures in a while… once there’s actually something there to show! And, of course, I can always be reached via the email link below my header. My writing itch can’t usually be quelled for very long, and I always express myself so much better in writing than I do through talking. We’ll see how long I can make it. I’m well aware (and a little saddened at the thought!) that I could very well lose some or even most of my readership by this post, but after some prayer and talking with my husband, I think it’s the best thing for me right now.

God bless, dear ones. And thanks for understanding…